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SIBLING ABUSE: THE HIDDEN TRAUMA
When Harm Comes From Within the Family
Sibling abuse is one of the most overlooked and minimised forms of childhood trauma.
It is often dismissed as rivalry, rough play, or “just siblings mucking about.”
In reality, it can involve repeated emotional, psychological, and physical harm — and its effects can last a lifetime.
Because it happens inside the family, sibling abuse is frequently hidden, denied, or rewritten.
The very place a child should have been safest becomes the place where they learned to shrink, stay silent, or disappear.
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THE HIDDEN NATURE OF SIBLING ABUSE
Sibling abuse often occurs in families that appear functional, respectable, or even admirable from the outside.
Behind closed doors, power can go unchecked.
Common dynamics include:
• Parents who are emotionally unavailable, absent, or overwhelmed
• One child being implicitly protected or excused
• Another child becoming the scapegoat or “problem”
• Harm being minimised to preserve family image or stability
In these environments, the abused child is rarely believed — and may even be blamed for what is happening to them.
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THE IMPACT ON THE CHILD
When abuse comes from a sibling, the child has no escape.
There is no safe adult, no neutral ground, no refuge.
Over time, this can lead to:
• Chronic fear and hypervigilance
• Low self-worth and shame
• Dissociation or emotional numbness
• Becoming invisible, compliant, or overly responsible
• Difficulty trusting others or feeling safe in relationships
For some, the effects reach back to pre-verbal or early developmental stages, where the body remembers what the mind could not yet understand.
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THE LONG TAIL OF TRAUMA
Sibling abuse does not simply end when childhood ends.
Unacknowledged trauma often mutates — reappearing in adult relationships, family estrangement, legal disputes, or ongoing patterns of exclusion and injustice.
Many survivors spend decades believing something is “wrong” with them, when in truth they were adapting to an unsafe system.
Healing often begins not with forgiveness, but with naming what happened.
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THE MONSTERS WITHIN THE FAMILY
Children often experience abusers not as complex humans, but as overwhelming forces — unpredictable, frightening, and powerful.
In a child’s inner world, these figures can become monsters.
These internal images do not disappear with age.
They shape fear responses, self-belief, boundaries, and identity.
Bringing these experiences into awareness is not about blame — it is about restoring reality, agency, and choice.
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HEALING IS POSSIBLE
Recovery from sibling abuse is rarely quick or linear.
It often involves working gently and deeply with:
• Early developmental and pre-verbal trauma
• The nervous system and body memory
• Boundaries, self-trust, and self-worth
• Grief for what was never protected
With the right support, it is possible to reclaim strength, clarity, and a sense of self that was never allowed to fully form.
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YOU ARE NOT ALONE
If this page resonates with you, know this:
What you experienced mattered.
Your responses were adaptive.
And healing does not require minimising the past.
Bringing hidden trauma into the light is not about dwelling in it — it is about ending its silence.
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